well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
