farters have to be the big spoon...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
