This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
