I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
