I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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