I hate your face
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
