are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
