I wish I could teleport
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
