I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
