my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
