I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
