Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize