I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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