i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
