anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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