I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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