jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
