lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
