it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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