dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Randomize
