Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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