I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize