I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
