party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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