Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
