I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
