Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Every concussion has its silver lining
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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