So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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