idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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