My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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