Are we in a gay sports bar?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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