im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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