You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My penis needs a shock collar
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
