I checked into jail on foursquare
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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