remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
