You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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