Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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