I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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