he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
