found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
