My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
