You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
