I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
