I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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