I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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