GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
