i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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