Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
