Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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