I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
