Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I don't deserve a penis
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
