Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Terrible idea I love it
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
