real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He shit in the fireplace
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
