sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
