Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
