It's just like the Real World with babies
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize