So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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