Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize