the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize