I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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