Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
