She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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