remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
