She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize