You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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