I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
