Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize