i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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