And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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